Blog Archives

Night Elves are Pervs

WARNING: Today’s post contains SFW material viewed with a NSFW mind. You have been warned.

If you compare the Night Elf society with the rest of the world of Azeroth, they are a radical departure from the societal norms that the other races and kingdoms hold. A society divided by gender lines – the women are the warriors, the men are the druidic spiritualists. Granted, this tradition has been mostly smudged and ignored for the sake of gameplay in WoW. Probably piece of mind. You think people got mad when Garrosh called Sylvanas a b*%$& or when Jaina cries? Imagine if Blizz had said that women can’t be druids.  Ooooh, there would be hell to pay.

But in a society that is such a radical departure from what most are used to, what exactly would they could consider beautiful?  Would they even have the same aesthetic values as, let’s say, Stormwind?  Well, dating as far back as before the War of the Ancients, we know that the Kal’dorei have a love of giant statues.  Heck, they’re all over Kalimdor in “little” bits and pieces.  So we know they have that in common with Mr. I-Need-A-Statue Varian Wrynn.  But I stumbled upon a statue in Ashenvale that had me scratching my head, rubbing my eyes, and re-thinking my stance on my sanity. Which is odd to begin with because I was never sane.

Okay, I swear I’m not the type of person who sees this kinda stuff in other places (abstract art, modern art, Disney movies) but I can’t be the only who has ever noticed this.  I don’t think it was intentional Blizzard’s part, but let’s delve into this with the eyes of a nutjo… I mean ‘Freudian Psychologist’ and analyze what this means.  This statue probably dates back to the Highborne, I mean you see the same statue in a couple of Highborne ruins at least, so you have a matriarchal society.  Which begs the question of if women are often sexualized due to a patriarchical society, is the reverse true?  Would the men of the Quel’dorei be as sexualized as women are in our society?

Well, seeing how I studied film/computers/writing in college, I can say with the utmost certainty that I don’t the slightest clue.  In fact, I have no idea where I was going with this. I’m not a psychologist.  Heck, my own brain has so many crossed wires, MacGyver would be stumped trying to hot wire it. So maybe this whole thing is just in my had.  Maybe the night elves aren’t totally perverted when it comes to their art and…

HA! I was right! Look at that!  Total pervs. You night elves are demented little knife eared pervs aren’t you? Yea, that whole dancing half nude on a mailbox thing isn’t to “pay your way through priestess school” is it?  I knew it.  Heck, I probably should have seen the signs when the Blood Elves decided that their racial architecture was giant towers everywhere.  Yea, they’re not compensating for anything.  You elves make me sick.  Trying to sneak this trash into a decent Light-fearing game like WoW.  You should all be ashamed!

…And, uh, can you sign this copy of PlayElf?

Advertisements

The Golden Army Must Not Be Awakened!

An Army of Iron Vrykul

They're like the spiritual opposite of Lawn Gnomes!

Location: Halls of Lightning, Storm Peaks

Faction: Neutral

There is a lot of weird stuff in the Storm Peaks, but this one I stumbled on when running Halls of Lightning and while waiting for a new tank via LFG (the first tank bailed after downing the first boss. We presumed he only needed one Emblem for something.)  I decided to wander around the Unyielding Garrison (First big room) and take a look around.  Below the small platforms extended in mid-air, I found a legion of massive Iron Vrykul standing around.

They certainly didn’t seem animated, or at least I don’t recall seeing them move any. They just stand there in formation.  The other thing that caught me was the size of them.  I mean, we’ve seen Iron Vrykul in different places before, but they tended to be about normal Vrykul height if not a little bigger (Runemaster Molgeim in the Antechamber of Ulduar is the biggest I believe) but these things look big enough to dwarf the elemental giants in the Vault of Archevon.  So I’m wondering why the heck were these massive metal behemoths ever used?  They might have come in handy in defending Loken, and certainly Ulduar.

Read the rest of this entry

%d bloggers like this: