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World of Wacraft: Warlords of Draenor – Legendary Ring Story Summary

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So with Legion, Blizzard decided to remove the Legendary Ring storyline from the game.  Since this storyline does a lot to set up the explanation behind the Legion expansion, as well as go into many of the motivations for staying around on Draenor after the destruction of the Dark Portal, I felt that it was deserving of a story summary so that people can have some level of reference if you want to know what went down in Warlords of Draenor.

Chapter I: Call of the Archmage

Upon reaching max level, you will find a familiar glowing friend wandering around your garrison.  This arcane construct brings word to you from Archmage Khadgar who requests your aid with a mission he has and asks that you come meet with him at his tower in Zangarra.  There he, along with trusty Watcher bodyguard Cordana Felsong, explain that to accomplish this mission he will need your help and to do so you will need a special tool that will help you along the way. A powerful piece of equipment that will not only give you the strength for the challenges that lie ahead but tether you to Khadgar so that he can keep an eye on you and your actions in the dire days to come.  He suggests the item be a ring and asks you to seek out the Arrakoa of Skyreach to retrieve a ring made of pure Solium, a rare metal heated and infused with the raw power of Draenor’s sun, to act as a base material for your new ring.

After fetching the material, Khadgar begins work on infusing your ring with new power and bringing out its own latent strength.  While working he explains that while the Horde and Alliance continue their battle against the forces of the Iron Horde, Khadgar has a different and far more threatening target in mind: Gul’dan.  The Orc Warlock who forged a pact with the demons of the Burning Legion and has a noted history of manipulating events from the shadows to get what he wants.  Khadgar wants to flush the warlock out of the shadows and the best way to do that would be to start by gathering powerful reagents for a tracking spell.  Khadgar requests that you retrieve a Core of Flame from the Slag Mines belonging to the Bloodmaul Ogres in Frostfire Ridge, the Core of Iron that is used to power the Iron Horde’s Iron Star trains that depart from the Grimrail Depot in Gorgrond, and finally to adventure deep into the Everbloom to extract the Core of Life from the closest thing on Draenor to the progenitor of life – a Genesaur.  Khadgar has also heard word from Talador that Gul’dan’s Shadow Council has infiltrated the hallowed halls of the Auchindoun and suspects that Teron’gor, Gul’dan’s right hand, is behind it.  He wants you to retrieve a sample of Teron’gor’s foul fel-touched blood to be used a focus for the tracking ritual.

In exchange for your assistance, Khadgar offers to empower your ring even further but to do so he will require additional materials.  This time he wants to imbue the solium with the magic from the crystals of the Apexis, an ancient Arrakoa civilization that first learned how to harness the power of the sun.  To enhance your ring, he needs precisely 4,986 crystals.  Any less than that number would be inadequate and the wizard insists that any more would be simply ridiculous.  You can trust him. He’s a mage. He did the math.

Once you’ve retrieved all the reagents, Khadgar will attempt to perform a scrying ritual to find Gul’dan only to find that the warlock is actively countering the spell leading Khadgar to deduce that Teron’gor’s death must have spooked the old orc into running.  Unfortunately, this means that Khadgar will need even more power to contend with Gul’dan’s magic and complete the ritual to locate him.  However, he has an idea.  The Archmage knows of a certain dragon – Kairozdormu – that came to Draenor’s past attempting to help Garrosh Hellscream flee his war crimes trial.  Since this modified timeline permeates with Kairoz’s influence, Khadgar should be able to use the dragon – alive or dead – to connect to this age of Draenor and spread his magical power across it.  So you head to the eastern hills of Nagrand where you find time-lost illusion detailing what followed shortly after Garrosh & Kairoz’s arrival in the past version of Draenor.  It would appear that the dragon’s plans quickly soured after arriving back in time as Garrosh immediately betrayed and murdered Kairoz.  However after meeting his bloody end, Kairoz’s angry spirit still dwells in its final resting place of the Time Lost Glade where his spirit and timeline has seeped into the very land of Draenor.  To master this power, Khadgar beseeches you to finish Garrosh’s work and end the dragon’s existence.  As the battle goes on, it is finally revealed why Kairozdormu freed Garrosh and fled to Draenor.  Kairoz saw something in his experiments on the Timeless Isle.  Something that drove him to seek out a way to make not just an army, but an infinite number of armies to fight against it.  To become infinite himself.  His first goal was to use Garrosh to convince Grom Hellscream to unite the Orc clans into becoming the first of Kairoz’s infinite army, but Garrosh’s backstabbing quickly ended that.

You return to the tower in Zangarra victorious.  Khadgar has tapped into Kairoz’s remaining essence and expanded his power and uses the Apexis Crystals you gathered to upgrade your Solium ring into a more powerful incarnation: a Time Lost Solium ring!

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Chapter II: Gul’dan Strikes Back

Armed with the ability to tap into the very essence of Draenor, Archmage Khadgar now needs a means to penetrate the powerful fel magic that Gul’dan uses to shroud himself.  To do so means having to delve into what the Kirin Tor would consider ‘fringe arcane science’ at best.  The knowledge possessed by the ogres of the Gorian Empire would fall under such a category.  Khadgar says that the Sorcerer King of the Gorian Empire, High Imperator Mar’gok, has mastered the art of something called “Felbreaking.” A technique designed to surpress and nullify magic including the vile powers of fel magic.  This knowledge would prove invaluable.  The Archmage asks that you venture deep into the ogre capital of Highmaul and retrieve a Fel Breaker’s Tome as well as the magical sigil of the Sorcerer King himself to help in learning the practices contained in the tome.  Khadgar also recommends picking up Abrogator Stones as you penetrate the ogre city.  These ancient and powerful magical stones that have been passed down through the generations of ogre mages would be a useful fuel to empowering your ring even further – a fair exchange for overthrowing an empire.

Once you have brought an end to the Gorian Empire and retrieved the requested items for Khadgar, the wizard will attempt once more to scry Gul’dan’s location.  Utilizing the fel breaking techniques to tear through the warlock’s veil, Khadgar finally makes contact with the orc.  The victory is short lived however as it seems that Gul’dan has been inquiring about the human mage he witnessed in the escape from Tanaan Jungle.  Gul’dan mentions Khadgar by name and mentions that it would appear that they have quite the history with each other.  This means that the warlock is now aware of the transgressions of the original timeline of your native Azeroth, where Khadgar killing his master, Medivh the Last Guardian of Tirisfal, shattered the mental link that the Guardian shared with Gul’dan and plunged the warlock into a coma that cost him and his Shadow Council control of the Horde.  Khadgar happily announces that they’ve located Gul’dan to which the old orc replies in jest that likewise he has found the Archmage.

Just then a figure draws out from the shadows and before Cordana has a chance to act an orc assassin stabs Khadgar with a poisoned blade. The assassin flees into the marshy lower levels of Zangarra and Cordana orders you to track her down.  You climb down the rocks into the swamp like valley and begin to play a dangerous game of cat and mouse before finally chasing the assassin to a cave and battling it out until either you perish from the poison in your blood or the assassin is captured. You return to the tower with the assassin – Garona Halforcen – in tow where you find Khadgar being kept stable by Jaina Proudmoore, the current leader of Dalaran’s Council of Six. You use the poison to quickly form an anti-venom to help aid in Khadgar’s healing and as the Archmage wakes, Jaina helps him up.  However, if you are a member of the Horde, Jaina will chastise Khadgar for allying himself with you and the Council does not approve of this choice either.  Khadgar will simply shrug it off and say that he needs all the help he can get on Draenor and it won’t be the first time he disappointed the Council.  However before Jaina departs, Khadgar makes one request that she helps transfer the power of the Abrogator Stones you gathered into your ring since he has been weakened by the ordeal.  The process turns your ring into a Spellbound Solium Ring.  Jaina wishes Alliance members well with their newfound power and threatens that she will be keeping her eye on you if you are a member of the Horde.

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Chapter III: The Foundry Falls

Now that he has healed, Khadgar is willing to admit that it was perhaps foolish to go after Gul’dan with magic alone.  Fortunately, an opportunity has arisen with Garona, the assassin you captured.  If he can find some means to break the magical hold that the warlock has on Garona’s mind, she might be able to assist bring down her master.  Khadgar has a plan but to enact it he must ask you to venture into the very heart of the Iron Horde’s war machine: The Blackrock Foundry.  There he will need you to pry out the heart of a primal elemental fury that fuels the massive furnaces below the foundry, steal a Flamebender’s Tome that describes the secret techniques that the Blackrock Clan uses to channel and control the powerful elemental forces of Draenor, and lastly to reclaim a magical Thaumaturgical Orb that was stolen from the Draenei during the Iron Horde’s siege of Karabor.

Once you’ve collected the three components, Khadgar will begin to pour over the Flamebender’s Tome that speaks of a ritual to the elements that required a sacrifice from the chieftan of a clan.  This causes the wizard to ponder on what Blackhand must of sacrificed to gain such knowledge and deduces that it must be his eponymous hand.  Khadgar asks you to break into the core of the foundry and kill the Warlord of the Blackrock Clan, then bring back his arm to utilize as a focus for the ritual to free Garona.

Meanwhile, Khadgar also has a plan to further enhance your ring by utilizing the knowledge sealed in three distinct Elemental Tablets that pre-date written history itself that hold the methods of tapping into the primal power of the planet itself.  However, the tablets will likely have shattered throughout time and thus will require you to find all the pieces scattered throughout the foundry to reassemble them.  Once you do, he performs a ritual to infuse the ring with Draenor’s elemental power.  However in doing so – he accidentally kills you.  While you are dead, you witness a vision of Gul’dan speaking to Grommash Hellscream.  The warlock taunts the warlord by telling him that the Iron Horde is collapsing under the assaults of the outsiders (that would be you) and even the foundry has now fallen.  He tells Grom to drink from the demon’s blood and that it will be the only way to guarantee success for Hellscream’s Iron Horde.  Grommash angrily declines and yells at Gul’dan to leave his sight just before Khadgar resurrects you with a pair of goblin jumper cables much to Cordana’s surprise that they actually worked.

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Chapter IV: Darkness Incarnate

With everything gathered from the Blackrock Foundry, Khadgar attempts to break Gul’dan’s hold on Garona by torturing her until she gives up the information on where Gul’dan is hiding.  In the wakes of the orcs screams, Cordana stops Khadgar horrified by what depths the wizard is willing to sink to and that he is losing himself in pursuit of the mission.  The Archmage relents, agreeing with Cordana that what is the point if they are willing to become just as vile as the warlock himself to accomplish their goals.  He however does have another suggestion: an Orb of Domination.  A relic used by the Shadow Council to ensnare minds into serving and joining their cause.  The old mage suggests that he may be able to reverse engineer the Orb and use it free Garona.  He directs you to a cavern below a Draenei village where the Shadow Counil has been using a orb to brainwash people and to bring the orb back to him.  Cordana is against this idea vehemently since using the orb would be tapping into the dark powers that they sought to stop in the first place, but the orb does its job and rips out Garona’s inner demons for you to battle and ultimately break the warlock’s hold on her.  In thanks, the assassin pledges herself to you and Khadgar while Cordana takes the Orb of Domination away to see it destroyed.

Garona leads you to Bladefury’s Command in northern Talador where Gul’dan was headed to a meeting with the Warlords of the Iron Horde.  You sneak in past the guards to discover what the warlock is up to.  There you witness Gul’dan overthrow the Iron Horde by subduing Grommash and convincing the other warlords of his ineffective leadership by bringing up the countless loses including that of Hellscream’s own son – Garrosh.  Turned by the warlock’s arguments, Kilrog Deadeye steps forth to embrace his foreseen fate and drink of the demon blood, his body twisting and breaking to reform into the first of a new Fel Horde.  Shocked by this news, Khadgar is terrified that history may repeat itself and Azeroth is now more in danger of the Iron Horde than before.  He asks you to use your resources as a General of your faction’s forces to build a shipyard to assault Tanaan Jungle from the sea while your allies assault the gates at the Iron Front.  Garona also agrees herself to your growing army and becomes a legendary follower.

With a foothold established in Tanaan and you and your allies primed to storm the gates of Hellfire Citadel itself, Khadgar suggests a two pronged attack.  First he wishes for you to rip the Tomes of Chaos, the foul books bound with tortured souls that are used to train new warlocks, out of the hands of Gul’dan’s followers.  He also wants you to use your shipyard to chase down Gul’dan’s flagship – ‘The Master’s Call’ – that has been scouring the seas of Draenor and charting the arcane leylines of the world.  That chart must not reach Gul’dan’s hands and could prove useful to the Archmage in bringing your ring to its apex of power.

Once you’ve collected all the tomes full of their disgusting pictures, Khadgar asks you to take them back to Cordana for proper disposal.  However when you arrive back at the tower in Zangarra, you find Cordana intently staring into the Orb of Domination which she apparently did not destroy.  She quickly dodges any question you ask about why she has the orb. She takes the books from you and begins to place them around the room to prepare to destroy them, but instead the erupt into a ritual circle of fel flame.  As the green flame engulfs the room, Cordana demands that you hand over your ring and that she needs it.  You decline with a choice of saying “No.” or “OH HELL NO.” and she declares that she will take it by force.  You fight with Cordana who unleashes both her Watcher training combined with the cinders of fel magics.  She screams that the Orb has shown her the truth: Khadgar is a just child who dabbles in forbidden powers too great for him to control. Gul’dan however has true mastery of these dark arts.  As you weaken her she breaks off the battle and states that nothing will stop Gul’dan and the Burning Legion from burning this world, Azeroth and every other world to the ground.  She opens a portal and walks into it saying that your leaders will ultimately betray you and that the Legion will be victorious.  When you return to Khadgar, he bursts into a rage against Gul’dan and his trickery before quieting and staring off at the horizon to mourn the loss of his bodyguard and friend to the darkness.

Now that the books have been dealt with and you have retrieved the ley line chart, Khadgar can identify three primary points of leyline connections: His tower in Zangarra which he knew since that is why he built it there, the Throne of Elements in Nagrand, and the Temple of Karabor in Shadowmoon Valley.  He says with this knowledge he should be able to bring your ring to its maximum potential and create something truly legendary.  The wizard is a bit apprehensive however after killing you the last time he tried to do this (which he apologizes for again) he will need some assistance.  Luckily, you have made powerful allies in your time on Draenor, and you head off to one of the leyline sites to perform the final ritual.  Members of the Alliance will travel to meet with Yrel and the rest of the Council of the Exarchs and the Naaru K’ara where they work with Khadgar to infuse your ring with the blessing of The Light and awaken it to its true potential.  For the Horde, you will find that the Frostwolf Clan (including the spirit of Ga’nar) has come out in mass to the Throne of the Elements to watch their shaman Drek’thar call upon the Primordial Elemental Furies to beseech them to give your ring their blessings.  With its power fully awakened, your ring has become a power unequaled on Draenor.  Khadgar only hopes it will be enough to stop Gul’dan.

With your ring firmly fastened on your finger, you assault the Black Gate and stop Gul’dan by defeating Archimonde the Defiler and sending the demon general back to the Twisting Nether, but not before Gul’dan manages to escape by being hurled through the very Black Gate that Archimonde had emerged from. No one is sure of where the warlock had escaped to, but Khadgar picks up the old orc’s fel charred walking cane and utters that he knows that this is not over.  He invites you to enjoy your victory celebration with your allies, but he must depart back to Azeroth to prepare for whatever will come next.

He hopes that you will be present and ready for when the call goes out for heroes once more.

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Welcome to the TRUE Horde! Garrosh Hellscream Plays Democracy 3

“I’m going to make my OWN Horde. With blackjack. And hookers.” – Garrosh Hellscream, probably.

No Campfire can best him, no Shadow Hunter troll can dissuade him, this time Garrosh Hellscream is out to prove he is the one true Warchief the Horde needs AND deserves…  by emulating it in Democracy 3.

To find out more about the 2010 Warchief Election at https://oddcraft.wordpress.com/category/other-stuff/warchief-election-2010/

Hail to the Warchief

Well, it was an interesting election, I’ll say that much.  We had almost 100 votes at the end of the night, and what a night of surprises and twists it was!  Not really.  Despite the outspoken support for Thrall over Garrosh amongst the fans or the lavish love of fans for the bodacious banshee, Sylvanas Windrunner, every single time one candidate pushed ahead, every other candidate scaled  with them.  After a month of the polls being open, the standings were surprisingly roughly the same as when they where at the end of day one.  I don’t think the percentages ultimately changed that much, if at all. Though I was shocked, down right amazed, that Garrosh did manage to squeeze out a whole 8 votes. I was expecting Knaak to even beat him out.  Who knew?

So who came out on top?  Is it really that hard to guess?  Well, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce your new warchief:

<Thank you!  Thank you all.  I am proud and honored to be called upon by the people to accept such a task.  What stands in front of us is a momentous challenge and it will not be easy.  The elemental invasion has left us trembling where we once stood our strongest: at home.  Deathwing has turned this home sweet home into a desperate brew of sour, and when it comes to living out our lives in this new shattered world, no blend of sweet and sour shall satiate our palettes!  Sadly, our children, mere nuggets of future potential,may have to go without the luxury of sauce for the moment.>

<However, through these trials and tribulations: we shall not boil over, we shall not dry out and wither, and despite what the Aspect of Death may wish to see – We shall not burn! Our crust may crack, but we have the strength to mend it.  The fruits of our past labors may have been spoiled, but we have the discipline to grow more.  We are the Horde, ladies and gentlemen.  We do not cry in our milk, we do not fall like a bad souffle, we have the guts to take this humble pie and turn it into a cake worthy of a king!

<Speaking of kings, you should know that I have already begun works to assemble a cabinet to work with King Wrynn and the members of the Alliance to mix together the beginnings of a stew of peace.  But whatever the fate of that stew, whether it becomes strong and flavorful or left alone to sour in our ice boxes – we shall make the effort again and again.  Politics, like cooking, requires time and the patience to try over and over until you obtain success.  Now I ask you, citizens of the Horde, CAN WE COOK IT?>

Well, thank you Warchief Campfire.  That was a very motivational speech.  We look forward to seeing what you do with all your endeavors!  And there you have it, readers at home.  The new warchief – Basic Campfire – as voted by you.  Will he succeed?  Will he fail?  Will Garrosh just push him off the throne and take it himself because hey, it’s not like basic campfire has any means to fight back other burning him if touched.  But honestly, how likely is that last one to happen?  Ha ha ha…

EDITORS NOTE: Following the writing of this report after last night’s inauguration speech, Garrosh Hellscream stormed into the throne, threw Basic Campfire off the throne, murmured something about ‘Over his dead body’ and then something about Grom Hellscream, and then proceeded to sit on the throne himself.  While technically it should be noted that there was a heavy scent of various liquors on Garrosh’s breath, he did successfully defeat the Warchief in combat, thus making him the new Warchief via a small loophole in the Horde’s charter called ‘The Metzen Clause’ which states that Horde politics are “subject to change on the spot regardless of how some idiot with a blog says they should work.”

When questioned about Garrosh’s drinking habits at the Orgrimmar Bar, local Gamon stated: “Dudes, it totally was NOT my idea.  I would never suggest assassinating the warchief and taking the throne for yourself. I would never tell Garrosh about the Metzen Clause because of resentment over players who sit around killing me all day and night choosing the elect a bunch of logs as warchief. And I had no clue he was going to take me seriously about it.”

Well, I guess this mystery won’t be solved any time soon.

Warchief Election: Blood and Honor

This is it folks.  The whole enchilada. The very last installment of the Warchief Election Debates.  Starting tomorrow (10/12/10) while the servers go down for maintenence and Patch 4.0.1 graces us with it’s presence, a new page will be added here at OddCraft.  On that page, you will be able to vote for your choice of who will be the new warchief.  But that is what’s ahead of us.  Right now, we have the two final candidates who as of yet haven’t had a chance to speak to each other this entire election.  Two behemoths of Orc-dom.  The Warchief incumbent and voice of peace… THRALL, SON OF DUROTAN!  And at the left podium,  an orc whose reputation far surpasses his approval ratings (which are quite low), GARROSH HELLSCREAM!  Our sponsor for this evening is…  oh wow!  It’s the Gnomeregan Institute for Advanced Robot Gnowledge!  That’s a nice change of pace.  Some good guys!  Granted, wrong faction, but who cares!

Now both of you know how this works.  I say a question and you two argue about it until I ask another one.  We like to keep it completely informal and without any sense of structure, because those are the things that make real debates so damn boring so people vote for whoever has the best hair.  Since neither of you have very flattering haircuts, we’ll have to stick to the issues.  Any questions before we begin?

GARROSH: Why is a human moderating these debates?

Bite me. That’s why.  Any other questions? No?  Good. Let’s get to it shall we.  Our first question tonight actually comes from Miss Anexxia, who originally asked this specifically for Garrosh, but since Thrall also was beat in the polls by Basic Campfire, I’m asking both of you:

QUESTION: How does it feel to know your constituents would prefer a pile of sticks to you?

GARROSH: I won’t lie.  It’s a bit insulting.  To imagine that those flaming logs were be preferred over someone who can actually move from spot without a shovel or a wagon.  I can see the alure to some.  After all, I am not well liked because of my policy that the best defense is a good offense.  They would rather see the Horde do nothing than defend our lands against intruders in order to eliminate “unnecesary bloodshed.”   To those people I ask them this.  Have they ever aided the Outriders in the battles for Ashenvale?  Did they ever pledge their allegience to the Frostwolf in order to claim territory in the Alterac Mountains?  Did they not spill Alliance blood in the name of the Forsaken or the defense of Durotar?  Can you really say that if the Alliance were to arrive at the gates of Orgrimmar you would stand and do nothing like the sticks?  Or would you be like me, and stand and defend your people and your land?  Kill those who threaten you and yours?  That is all that I can say about that.

THRALL: There is such a thing as diplomacy, Garrosh.  Speaking with the Alliance and determining a course of action that is mutually beneficially to both sides.

GARROSH: I’ll remind of you of that the next time I see Alliance filth riding around on one of their black war bears.  I’m sure that process was mutually beneficial to both sides.

THRALL: Regardless, the fact that the Horde would rather see Basic Campfire as the new warchief is not an insult.  It is a testiment to the Horde’s attitude of self reliance.  Why else would they want a warchief that is physically incapable of doing anything, if the people themselves did not feel fit to do everything themselves.  I’m proud to know that the Horde knows that it can be strong enough to act and work without a warchief leading the way.  It shows how far we’ve come.

GARROSH: Perhaps they’ve learned they have to do everything on their own because their current warchief would rather sit and have tea with the enemy than see his people protected from those who would see them dead.  You can’t keep harboring this infantile dream from the end of the Third War, Thrall.  The Alliance wants us gone and dead.  Proudmoore’s promise can’t hold them back forever, and what will the Horde do on that day?  Try to negotiate for our lives like dogs?  Stand there and let them snuff us out like pouring water on a flame?  We will need someone who can hold the line, and that pile of twigs isn’t it.

QUESTION:  The world is constantly changing, sometimes in ways that no one can even predict, how will you help the Horde deal with change?

THRALL: A question like that is best reserved for a far seer or a sage, but I will answer as I can.  Change is a force that nothing can stop, not the Alliance, nor the Horde.  It requires patience, and a willingness to loosen the reigns and let the ebb and flow of destiny steer the way.  I did not want to take up the Doomhammer when it was first thrust upon me.  I had not anticipated Orgrim’s death.  But they happened, and when the time came I donned the armor and chose to lead my people.  The spirits have, if nothing else, taught me the patience to stand back and look at the world as it is and what it might be, and act from that vantage point.

GARROSH: Spoken like a human, Thrall.  Weak and whimpering in the ‘awe’ of it all instead of acknowledging the opportunity that has appeared.  Change is a force that nothing can stop in deed, but it can be steered.  One should not loosen the reigns just as the chance for glory makes itself known.  But it requires the strength and the determination to bring change in line with what is needed.  Strength that my opponents all lack.  When it comes down to it, they’d prefer to discuss, to plan, to plot – none of them have the will to take action!  I am sick of looking at the cowardice that has befallen the Horde’s leadership.  Even the Queen of the Dead shuffles blame to a rogue agent, acting as if she knew nothing of the plague that she ordered the creation of.  Change is opportunity.  Plain and simple.  The Horde needs a leader that is willing to seize that opportunity and embrace it for the glory of the Horde, not simply hope the bones roll in our favor.

THRALL: The audacity! Garrosh, one cannot be so reckless with the lives of so many!  If one does not look before they leap –

GARROSH: What, Thrall?  They might miss the chance for victory?  I would expect as much from a warchief who sits on his throne while his subjects spill blood for the Horde.  A warchief who wastes the lives of many a soldier who died in glorious battle by denying that such a battle ever occured in the name of some false truce.  I’ll never know how you live with  your pathetic human moralities.

THRALL: Garrosh! Hold your tongue.  You forget yourself!

GARROSH: On the contrary, I know exactly who I am.  I am the Son of Grom Hellscream, legendary hero of the Horde, the orc that freed us all from the bloodlust!

THRALL: AND THE ONE WHO SOLD THE ORCS BACK INTO SLAVERY IN THE FIRST PLACE!

GARROSH: How dare you!

THRALL: Never forget that it was your father’s “seizing the opportunity” that chained the Warsong clan to Mannoroth’s blood during the Third War.  Your father redeemed himself, Garrosh.  But would you repeat the same mistakes?  What demon will you drink the blood of Garrosh?  Anger?  War?  How many will suffer for your redemption?!  Your father yielded leadership to me BECAUSE of his lust for power.

GARROSH: You never spoke of my father this way!

THRALL: You were depressed.  The Mag’har needed you.  What was I going to say?  “Sorry your father screwed us so bad, I guess he kinda made up for it like this.  Hope you don’t screw up as much”? Yes, I’m sure that would have helped you immensely.  Your father was a great orc, Hellscream, but he was also a thick headed idiot at times.  I owe him my life, and the lives of my clansmen, and for that, I helped you.  But if I see you following his shadow, Garrosh, I will not hesitate to call the earth to swallow you whole.

GARROSH: I…  You…  But…   Father…

In an unorthodox move, provoked by this somewhat sensational turn of events (and my love of juicy tabloid drama), I’m going to forgo the last question I have here and make this one simple.

QUESTION: Why do you think you’d make a good warchief?

THRALL: I would like to say that it is my willingness – No, my eagerness, to hold my values above all else.  That the Horde must not be tainted by past mistakes if we are ever to move forward in this world and that I would like to lead them there.  Perhaps I am too optimistic.  Perhaps I am performing a fool’s errand.  But some days it feels as if the world itself is about to tear apart, and I am the only one who can see it.  A warchief must serve more than just his people, he must serve all people.  The world needs healing: the fire burns deep, the water swirls angrily, the air blows, and the earth cracks.  I want to be there for my people and all people to heal the scars of war and hate.  Though perhaps I am too late to do so.

GARROSH: Suddenly, I am unsure.  Through out my time in Northrend I have felt my father’s ghost at my back, urging to me to be great.  To save the Horde from weakness as he did.  Perhaps I overdid it. Perhaps I fought a monster that was never there.  But if nothing else, I know where my allegiance lies.  For all that I am, I am for the Horde.  Victory or death and nothing less.  As warchief I pledge myself to the Horde completely, and I will do everything within my power to protect the people of the Horde.  I will spill the blood of my enemies for the Horde, and I will spill my own to see the Horde reach its destined place in this new world.  I am not perfect, I can’t say that in the least.  But I don’t think any of my opponents could claim perfection either.  But I am willing to lay down my life to protect my people.  That I can claim.

THRALL: That was good, Garrosh.  Your father…

GARROSH: Do not praise me, Thrall.  I am not your pet.  I am an orc of the Horde.  Our fates lie in their hands now.

Well, that’s it folks.  If that didn’t get your blood pumping, I don’t know what will.  The Voting Booth will be open tomorrow during patch day, and will stay open until patch 4.0.3, so remember to vote and remind your friends to vote too!  We’re determining the future of the Horde after all.  The voting page will have a link to all of our previous articles about the Once again our sponsor for this historic final event was the Gnomeregan Institute for Advanced Robotic Gnowledge. “After our 2 week crash course you’ll be building mechs in your sleep, but still can’t spell worth a damn”  Well, that’s honest advertising if nothing else.  Have a fun time tonight, Garrosh?

GARROSH:  I will end you, Human!

I am just not a people person I guess.  Ta ta for now folks!  See you at the voting booth tomorrow!

Warchief Election: Warriors Gonna War

Hello everyone and welcome back to yet another exciting Warchief Election Debate! Last time we got some pretty awesome ratings thanks to the good people over WoW Insider (We promise not to say anything bad about you for like, six weeks.  I know we haven’t ever said anything about you before either, but this is like a guarantee.  Which is even better right?). Anyway, this week we’ve got a doozy.  It’s the polar opposite of last time – we’ve got two war minded candidates tonight and they look ready to kill, which means it HAS to be more interesting than two pacifists ‘duking’ it out for who doesn’t want to hurt more people.

As always, we have the Son of Hellscream himself, the slayer of…  (Um… Garrosh…  have you actually killed anything?  Uh huh.  What’s that?  Hmm.. okay.) The slayer of depression, the destroyer of da blues, Garrosh Hellscream! And also we have the privilege, nay the pleasure, of welcoming back the Dark Lady, Sylvanas Windrunner, queen of the forsaken and crusher of giant ice walls.  Tonight’s debate is brought to you by The Enterprise Company…  seriously?  I was just joking last time! Do they think this is going to work?  Oh well, “Enterprise Company.  Your source for everything the Venture Company has, only you can buy it from us because we’re totally not evil and totally not the Venture Company”  Can we just get on with the stinking debates?

QUESTION: Both of tonight’s candidates…

RICHARD KNAAK: I’m still here, a**hole.

Sorry Richard, totally forgot you were there… again.  Ahem.  Again the majority of our candidates tonight are in favor of war with the Alliance.  So the first question this evening is why do you think war is the best possible option as well as why your strategic plans are better than your opponents?

GARROSH: The Alliance is a threat to the Horde.  That’s all they are ever going to be.  No matter what we do, they will continue to see us as beasts and monsters that serve no other purpose but to killed off or kicked out until we no longer dwell in “their world.”  I think the fact that they still feel that way after everything our current warchief has done is proof enough that they want nothing else but to see us dead.  The best defense is a good offense.  We need to strike out and stake our claim in this world if we are ever going to have anything.  You think that those noble souls doing battle in Warsong Gulch are just playing around with a flag?

RICHARD KNAAK: Yes.

GARROSH: No! They are battling for the resources and control of the territory that those resources reside on for the Horde!  We need that lumber for the houses that our young sleep in!  We need it to defend our walls, and our loved ones! And the only way we will ever lay claim to the resources we need to survive is to take them from those who will not willingly give them.  So we fight the Alliance, not because we are blood shedding beasts but because we wish to survive!  I will not lay down my honor and roll over to die as a coward in some ditch while the Alliance takes everything from us. My father did not die so the Horde could live on their knees.  He died so we could be free people! Free from the bloodlust, the demons, our pasts, and the Alliance!

RICHARD KNAAK: Yes but like when I created Rhonin, I thought-

SYLVANAS: Surprisingly, I actually agree with Garrosh.  War with the Alliance is necessary if for no other reason than self-preservation.  Anyone who argues against self-preservation is an illogical idiot than deserves the fate that awaits them.  However, I don’t agree with Garrosh’s idea of brute strength beating down the doors of the Alliance and saying ‘gimme.’  No, to best the Alliance we are better off using subtlety.  A precise strike can do far more damage than constantly bludgeoning something over the head repeatedly.  That’s why I founded the Royal Apothecary Society.

GARROSH:  And didn’t that turn out peachy?

SYLVANAS: Quiet, you lap dog of Thrall.  ‘Everything our current warchief has done’?  Ha! Does he read you bed time stories now that daddy is dead?

GARROSH:  Hold your tongue, banshee.

SYLVANAS: You are in no place to order me, Hellscream.  The Society was founded with the idea of finding a way to efficiently and secretly eliminate our enemies without needing to lift anything more than a finger to push the button.  I see now that leaving Putress and Varimathras unsupervised was a mistake, one I don’t plan to make again.  But efficiency means less deaths for the Horde, more deaths for the Alliance and anything we can need can be at our disposal with a simple flick of the wrist and drop of well designed slime.

GARROSH:  There is no honor in that!  Honor comes from defeating your enemies head on and in a glorious battle!

RICHARD KNAAK: …kind of an outsider that could unite everyone under a single cause, be it horde or alliance or even humans and elves. Heck it was almost like I invented Robin Hood…

SYLVANAS: Your outdated senses of honor are useless here.  This is no time for wasting lives.

GARROSH: Like you have a life to waste.

RICHARD KNAAK: …And when Vereesa saw him for the first time, oh ho ho, there’s no avoiding a couple of half-elf kids at that point.

SYLVANAS: What. did. you. just. say.  ABOUT MY LITTLE SISTER?

RICHARD KNAAK: Nothing!

QUESTION: Having engaged in some rather questionable actions in the past, it has made some voters uneasy about putting you in charge of the Horde.  What can you say to defend your past actions and why should voters trust you?

GARROSH:  I admit that my actions in Northrend were… extreme.  But extreme actions is what the situation called for.  We faced two enemies in that frozen hell, one thought of us as nothing more than household vermin and the Scourge feared nothing, not even death.  There is no ‘merciful’ tactic against enemies like that.  You must not hesitate or else you give them the chance to take you by surprise.  Look at that pathetic human’s tournament in Icecrown! He left the doors right open for the Lich King to enter and doom us all and then acted surprised when he did just that.  That is the kind of weakness the Horde cannot afford anymore.  If that means we are brutal, then we shall be brutal.  If the humans want to hate us, then we will just have to make them fear us instead.  That is why I did what I had to in Northrend.  I regret nothing. My only sorrow is for those who judge me less for doing what had to be done to ensure the livelihood of the Horde.

SYLVANAS:  I will admit that trusting Varimathras was a mistake.  One of only a few that I will ever commit.  I know that now the only one worth trusting is myself.  That is why I chose to run for warchief.  To leave it in the hands of a half-cocked buffoon like Garrosh is too dangerous, Thrall is just leading us down a path of becoming slaves or getting killed, and I don’t even know what people are thinking to put a pile of sticks on the throne.  What are they expecting it to do when the Alliance marches through the gates of Orgrimmar?  Make a stew and hope they just leave because now they are full?  The Alliance is not a stray dog.  It will not love you just because you gave it some scraps.  If we are going to get things done, we need someone who knows from hard earned experience that you can’t trust anyone but yourself to do it right.

GARROSH: What about that plague that just happened to kill both living and undead targets?

SYLVANAS: A lack of oversight can cause many a malicious act to occur when one is not looking.  I can assure you that the new plague was designed solely for the purpose of destroying the Lich King and his forces.  Anything else is a product of Putress’ involvement.

GARROSH:  I smell fear, Windrunner.

SYLVANAS: And I smell Orc B.O.  Could you please go back to YOUR podium?

Well, I think we’ve heard just about enough of that for tonight.  I’d like to-

RICHARD KNAAK: One damn moment, you’ve drug me to these infernal debates twice, TWICE, now and not only have I been ridiculed and made a fool of but I have not once been given a chance to voice my opinion or present myself fairly to the voters.

Oh?  You think we’ve kept you down some how?  Okay, Richard, I’ll ask you a question.  Just you.  How about that?

RICHARD KNAAK: Excellent.  I have prepared a question just for this ocassion.

Wait… that’s not…  Oh fine! Give me that damn card.

RICHARD’S AWESOME QUESTION: Richard, what is your fantastic take on the issues?  How amazingly easily would it be for you to fix all of the Horde’s problems?  Are you really as awesome as they say, or are you awesome-er?

RICHARD KNAAK: Well, thank you for such a flattering question, I think first and foremost that –

Well, what do you know, that’s all we have time for tonight.

RICHARD KNAAK: WHAT?!

I’d like to thank our sponsors at… ugh…  Enterprise Company, “Strip mining your land in totally nice, safe ways cause we’re totally not the Venture Co.”  And thank you for tuning in!

RICHARD KNAAK: I will sue you, Vrykerion!

Next time we’ll have Basic Campfire chatting toe to toe with the Banshee Queen, Lady Sylvanas Windrunner.

RICHARD KNAAK: All of you can burn in hell!

Until next time folks! This is Vrykerion, saying take care of yourself and your main tank. (Can we turn Richard’s mic off?  Thanks.  He was really… WHOA! RICHARD! PUT THAT DOWN! PUT THAT–)

Warchief Election: Debate Night Smackdown

Welcome one and all to the Warchief election debates.  Tonight will be watching the debate between two of the heavyweights of the debate square off in a verbal arena of mayhem that was only thought possible with the advent of cutting edge 3D imaging technology now brought to you not only in 2D but also in text form. Yes, we at OddCraft are just that good.  Now allow me to introduce the distinguished candidates that will be participating in tonight’s debate.  Weighing in at 375 pounds, the Nightmare from Nagrand, the Beast of Borean, GARROSH HELLSCREAM!

At the opposite podium, at 13 lbs, 16 if you include the ashes, the Titan of Temperature and current front-runner in the polls, please welcome: BASIC CAMPFIRE!  Because Basic Campfire is a fire and not an actual living breathing person, we have invited the former majordomo of Ragnaros, Executus, to be our translator from firespeak to Orcish.

QUESTION: There has been a lot of conflict with the Alliance over the years, from Warsong Gulch to the Eye of the Storm.  But the Northrend Campaign seems to have increased that conflict quite a bit with the Isle of Conquest, Strand of the Ancients, Wintergrasp Forest, Grizzly Hills and the incidents across Icecrown, what are your plans for decreasing the loss of Horde lives in these conflicts?

BASIC CAMPFIRE (Translated from Firespeak): <It is true that there has been a rising trend in conflict with the Alliance.  And while some have contributed more to that trend than others, I would like to think that as a faction we are ready to move past these rotten ways and on to the fresh fruit of peace.  After all, there is nothing that says the Alliance peanut butter and the Horde chocolate wouldn’t go together to make something great. Why, just take a look at the efforts in Outland!>

GARROSH HELLSCREAM: Is everything just food to you?

BASIC CAMPFIRE: <Unlike some of us, Hellscream, I am not willing to wait and make jokes as this situation moves from a simmer of hostility to a boil of war without taking some action to reduce the heat.>

GARROSH HELLSCREAM: You would rather have us sacrifice our pride and honor to play nice with the Alliance.  To what end?  What reason have the Alliance ever given us to think that if we were to lay down arms that they would happily coexist with us.  It would be back to the camps, back to slavery, and back to a life of nomadic wandering or mercenary work for many.  I would rather die than see that sad fate fall upon this Horde.  Wrynn has made it clear that there is no tolerance for the Horde coming from the Alliance, so the only sensible thing to do is to strike at them before they attack us.  As warchief I would choose to expand our conflicts with the Alliance in order to protect more of the Horde’s territories and interests, especially in the Eastern Kingdom.

BASIC CAMPFIRE: <Fear mongering on the what ifs will not help anyone, Horde or Alliance, in the long run.  In order to achieve peace, we must cover the cracked and hard crust of war with the sauce of honesty and the toppings of cooperation.>

GARROSH HELLSCREAM: Did you just compare war to a pizza?

QUESTION: The Horde has always seemed like an Orc-centric race, with the Blood Elves still entertaining ambassadors, the Forsaken now under watch of the Kor’kron guard, the Darkspear camping out inside of Orgrimmar and the Tauren being forced to accept goblin run zeppelins parking in Thunderbluff.  What would you do to unify the Horde as a single force.

GARROSH HELLSCREAM: I find it insulting that you would interpret the actions of the orcs in such a way.  While yes, it is a fact that the Horde was founded on orc principles and interests, we believe that our forces are only as strong as the weakest arm that wields a weapon.  So we have sought to fortify the Horde’s position by ensuring that all of the Horde is connected in some fashion. Be it with ambassadors keeping an eye on Quel’thalas, the Kor’kron defending our closest capital to Alliance territory, or ensuring that the forces of Orgrimmar can come to the tauren’s assistance in a moments notice.  The Horde is a single force, and we are stronger because of it, and it just happens that the orcs are the sword and shield of that single force, and we are stronger because of that as well.

BASIC CAMPFIRE: <You would assume that might makes right in this situation, Garrosh.  You lack an outside perspective of what those actions are doing to the other races of the Horde.  In order to unite the Horde, we must coat our interactions with a thick layer of trust before we can even hope to build that strength.  Because if we don’t all that strength will simply get us stuck and I assure, Garrosh, we will break apart if we try to force it.  Strength alone cannot justify anything.  Even your father knew that.>

GARROSH HELLSCREAM: YOU DO NOT SPEAK OF MY FATHER, YOU PILE OF STICKS!

We would like to remind the candidates that this is a written transcript of the debate and not actual footage, so while I normally would be all for the types of ratings that throwing podiums would pull in, it doesn’t do us jack squat in text.  So please, Mr. Hellscream, put down the podium.

QUESTION:  There has been some concern for the Horde forces stationed in Outland, and now in Northrend with the conflict with the scourge coming to a close, what are your plans for bringing those brave soldiers of the Horde home?

BASIC CAMPFIRE: <There is no plan.  One should not need a ‘plan’ or a ‘schedule’ to honor our brave soldiers and bring them back home to their families.  You just do it.  Those courageous souls have earned. After all, with Illidan’s forces wiped out, Kael’thas usurped and brought to justice and the naga’s plans halted, what else is there for the Horde to do in Outland?  The same logic applies in Northrend.  We accomplished what was needed and now it is time to let those weary souls rest with their loved ones back home.  If there are any further conflicts, allow the local forces of the Shattered Sun address it.  They are Outland’s own army now.>

GARROSH HELLSCREAM: By the spirits, you answered the whole thing without making a reference to food in any way.

BASIC CAMPFIRE: <I am capable of a great many things, thank you.  After all, variety is the spice of life.>

GARROSH HELLSCREAM: There it is.  As for the question, I find it appalling that my opponent is so quick to demand that the orcs abandoned their homeland.  We were born in Outland, we were raised in Outland, and I’ll be damned if I let her fall into the hands of whomever comes along next simply because the demons are gone and we want our warm fuzzy beds.  I don’t know how my opponent sleeps, but there is nothing fuzzy about an orc bed, and there is no warmth in knowing that we abandoned our ancestry simply to pander for a few votes.  The forces in Outland don’t need to come home, because they ARE home.  As for Northrend, despite that pompous paladin’s assurance that the Lich King is dead, there has been no decrease in the number of scourge littering Icecrown, and you never take your eyes off an enemy just because you THINK you’ve bested them.

BASIC CAMPFIRE: <Do you always solve everything at a sword’s edge?>

GARROSH HELLSCREAM: I’d rather have a sword at my side than a ladle, Kindling.

BASIC CAMPFIRE: <I’d expect nothing less from the son of a man who…>

GARROSH HELLSCREAM: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT MY FATHER?!  DIE, YOU SON OF A LOG!

Ah! Gentlemen! Please! Stop! No! Not that! That’s expensive!  Ooo…  Well, I suppose that’s it for this debate.  OW! Stop throwing things!  …I’d like to thank Executus for translating tonight, and our sponsors at Demon Dew, Unleash the Demon in You.  Tune in next week for a debate between Thrall and Lady Sylvanus Windrunner.  DANGIT! THAT HURT!  Okay, who threw that one?  Basic Campfire?  YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE ARMS!

The Chilling Sounds of Father’s Day

Father’s Day is always an interesting holiday in Azeroth, after three wars in the past twenty-five years the holiday has taken a very somber tone for many.  Reports of the Horde’s warchief is spending the day in the isolation of a cliff side in the hills of Alterac in quiet meditation.  Drek’Thar, one of the warchief’s generals and spiritual advisers has mentioned that the holiday is a rough time for the already troubled warchief, “Thrall never knew his parents,  killed his former master in the battle of Durnholde, and lost a father figures in Orgrim Doomhammer.  Yes, I think the holiday is a bit of a sore subject with the Warchief.”  Thrall is not alone in his desire for solitude this Father’s Day, as Varok Saurfang, the commander of the Kor’kron Guard in Northrend, took leave to go to Outland and visit the Ancestral Grounds in Nagrand for the weekend to “celebrate his pride as a father in his own way.”

Also celebrating in his own is Garrosh Hellscream, who is reported to be spending Father’s Day in a tavern yelling at other orcs about how his father is “the greatesht hero the Horde has ever known” and how they were lucky that his bloodline continues in their “future bestest warchief evers.”  The King of Stormwind took some time to take his son off to Lordamere Lake, just off the coast of Hillsbrad, where they fished and King Varian told young Anduin stories of King Llane and King Terenas.  Meanwhile, on the shores of Kalimdor, Lady Jaina Proudmoore held a solemn procession in remembrance of the many father’s that were lost in the first, second and third wars.  The entire population of Theramore turned up as Jaina led a mock navy funeral for those who had passed, including her own father, Lord Admiral Daelin Proudmoore.

However the most interesting tale of Father’s Day is coming from the freezing halls of Icecrown Citadel, as many members of both the Argent Crusade and the Ebon Blade awoke to find a good deal of their alcohol had gone missing, coupled with the sounds of the loud shouting of obscenities and slightly disturbing echoes of sobs reverberating through the Citadel from the Frozen Throne at its peak.  The majority of the invading forces have decided to not attempt to press the attack into the fortress of the Lich King today.  “The men are saying it’s out of respect,” says Crok Scourgebane, a champion of the Ebon Blade, “but it’s really cause the sound alone is making these whelps wet themselves.”

Highlord Tirion Fordring however saw a silver lining to the presence of a drunk and depressed Lich King, “Maybe I was wrong – and perhaps Jaina was right and there is something left of Arthas in there after all.” but the Highlord’s somewhat lifted tone was quickly soured, “But I wouldn’t want to face him today.  There’s not a force on Azeroth that could make me do something that stupid.”

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