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Vry Talks WoW: Warlords Trailer Released & Endboss Reveal!

Orcs!

Orcs orcs orcs ORCS orcs? Orcs orcs, orcs orcs… ORCS ORCS ORCS ORCS ORCS ORCS ORCS ORCS!  Orcs orcs orcs orcs orcs orcs?  Orcs!  Orcs Orcs Orcs.  Orcs orcs.  Orcs, orcs orcs orcs orcs orcs orcs orcs? Orcs orcs.  Orcs orcs.  Orcs orcs orcs orcs, orcs orcs orcs.  Orcs orcs Hellscream orcs.  Hellscream orcs orc orcs.  Orcs orc ork ork orcs.  Orcs orc orcs orc goblins?  ORCS!

Orc Orc Orcs

Orcs orc orc ork orcs. Orc orc orcs?  O-R-C-S.  Orcs orcs orky orcs! Orcs orc Garrosh? ORC.  Orc orky orcs Grom! Orc orc orcs orca orc orky orky GUL-ORCING-DAN?  Orcs orc orc orc orcs orc orcs ork.  Orcs orc ork orcs Hellscream orc Bladefist? ORC!  Orks orcs orc orc Mork ork?  Orcs orcs…  orcs orc orc orcs…  orcs, ORCS, HELLSCREAM!

Hellscream Hellscream? Orc!

Grom orc, Garrosh orc, orc orc orcs pork. Orc orcs orc orc.  Orcs, orc orc orcs orc ork. Thrall orc? Kek. Orc orcs orca orcs ork ork. Zug zug.

Kek.

Best. Glitch. Ever.

Recently, I’ve been indulging in my alt-itis and playing lots of alts up to level 10 to leave their starter planets in SW:TOR.  It gives me a bit of fun in exploring each classes nuance, checking out new servers where potential new guilds reside, and generally exploring the different options in dialogues.  It’s interesting how some choices are purely superficial and others can actually add or skip additional objectives.  It’s neat to find out that ‘Hey, if I choose the Light side option here I won’t have to fight those guys’ or ‘If choose light side I have to go report this to a guy way back there or if I do dark side I get to run around and collect some doodads really quick’. Mostly, I’ve just been going with whatever my character does.  I don’t think I’ve played a single character thus far that hasn’t racked up some mix of dark or light points.  Most lean one way or the other, with a dash of the opposite tossed in for flavor.

Back to the point! I recently started leveling a trooper.  She’s a bald, Asian cyborg with a huge gun.  I love that I can say that with a straight face. It’s like an utter indulgence of my love of cyberpunk gushing out through ever slider on the character select screen. Early on in the trooper’s story – the second class quest I believe – you are quickly introduced to Aric Jorgan.  He’s one of the guys ordering you around.  He’s a big bald Cathar.  Which are cat people.  So if  you hear “Tough-as-Nails Cat Person Named Jorgan” and immediately think of this:

I like the way you think! But sadly, he instead looks more this:

Anyway, he’s one bad ass kitty and channels a serious Panthro vibe.  He doesn’t mess around when the safety of the Galactic Republic is at stake.  But when I first met Mr. Jorgan, I got a slightly different version instead.  Apparently, the game glitched during the cut scene and instead I got introduce to Mini-Aric instead:

The whole cut scene was like that.  It was AWESOME.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  The best part is when my trooper is supposed to look at Aric in the cut scene, she actually looked down at the ground.  So apparently the animation was designed to lock on to him or something.  Even the cameras repositioned themselves to include Tiny Jorgan!

Sadly, after the cut scene ended he returned to his regular size and has stayed that way since.  Still, for one glorious and hilarious moment I got to watch Chibi Jorgie try to be an imposing bad ass superior officer.  I will never be able to respect him.  EVER.

Link: Nintendo’s Biggest Jerk?

Alright, confession time folks.  I never finished Twilight Princess.  *dodges thrown vegetables and a shoe* I know, I know.  To be fair, it wasn’t because it was a bad game or anything.  In fact, I rather enjoyed it gameplay wise.  The story wasn’t bad either.  I really liked Midna.  Still, there was something.  Something that drove me nuts every time I played that game.  For the longest time I couldn’t put my finger on it, but then one day it came to me.  I hate Link.

Oh yes, Link.  The legendary fantasy hero of the Nintendo that has defended the land of Hyrule for like 20 years now.  Why do I hate him?  Does it have anything to do with my burning hate of generic faceless and voiceless protagonists like Gordon Freeman (who only taunts you with it by somehow managing to get every female he comes in contact with to develop amorous feelings toward him without saying a single bloody word!  Despite the fact that he is obviously out of shape.  Go ahead. Look down in Half Life.  Fat old Freeman can’t even see his toes.)  No, it wasn’t that.  Because this problem is centralized only on Twilight Princess.  So what is it that this mute fairy boy have in that game that he doesn’t in any other Zelda game?

Well how about a complete lack of any and all emotion?! Annoying little brat doesn’t show the slightest bit of empathy for the majority of the game.  In fact he has three emotions: Default Link (Grimace), Happy Link (slightly upturned scowl), and Surprised Link (Open mouth gaping grimace).  That’s the entire emotional range of this kid.  Heck, he shows more emotion in his wolf form than his human form.  This is what I couldn’t stand in Twilight Princess more than anything!  Even in the worse of circumstances, our “Hero” comes off as a unemotional sadist like so:

It’s that stupid face that drove me from this game!  That moronic vacant stare that is present in almost every cut scene in the game, regardless of the context in which that scene takes place.  I know that they never want to give Link a voice because that would clash with everyone’s perception of how Link thinks and speaks (Which is NOT a bad idea, considering the utterly painful experience that was Metroid: Other M) but would it kill you to give the kid some personality?  Hannibal Lecter showed more empathy for people than this twerp.

I suppose it could be worse though.  This is a basic summary of Link’s epic journey on my sister’s play-through of the game:

Yeesh.

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