The Secret Truth Revealed: Gnome Jedi

Some believe the Jedi originated as a secular cult of humanists pushing Eastern religious beliefs on unsuspecting Christian children in hopes of corrupting them and bringing their souls closer to Satan, who they did not believe in because they were secular humanists.  These people are morons.  However, here at the Land of Odd, we have discovered new and shocking evidence that proves within a reasonable proximity to the proverbial shadow of a doubt, that Jedi originated not from some cult, or whatever the heck the Expanded Universe has blabbed on and on about.  No, you see, we have discovered from ancient Jedi statues scattered across the galaxy that the original Jedi were in fact…  GNOMES.

Is this enough of an argument to justify Gnome Paladins in Mists of Pandaria?  COME ON!

As you can see, this ancient Jedi statue depicts not a kneeling Jedi, but a very, VERY, short Jedi.  With cartoonishly large feet and a ridiculous hairstyle.  And who else do we know that is short, has ridiculous proportioned body parts, and has really weird hair?

I know something bad will happen to me for all these puns.  It'll be Pun-ishment.

That’s HARE, you dolt.  No, I am of course speaking of World of Warcraft’s own gnomes.  You see, the original homeworld of the Jedi wasn’t Tython. That’s just where the order was created.  The first Jedi originally arose on Azeroth!  But of course they just called it magic.  They didn’t know what the Force was, or anything about the M-words your blood stream.  They just thought it was hocus pocus.  Just like the Jawa “shaman” on Tattoine.  Want more proof? Gnome warriors get a lightsaber at level 3!

Of course, both the Jedi and the Sith will seek to suppress this powerful new knowledge for their own reasons. Mostly because everyone hates gnomes, regardless of what galaxy you live in.

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Posted on January 24, 2012, in The Old Republic, World of Warcraft and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. You know at first I thought, ah, come on, you’re really reaching Vry, but after seeing that Very Light Sabre you’ve convinced me. I think you’ve uncovered something here. If word were to get out … Jedi punting.

    • I thought it was pretty far fetched myself until I remember the gnomish sabre, and the primitive ‘magical’ Jawa on Tattooine. That’s when the hold picture came together. 😀

      Still when I first saw that statue on Voss, I did do a double take saying “Was that a giant gnome?”

  2. Ohh it was worth following the Ancient’s link here… there are a few people I need to show this to…

  1. Pingback: The Mage Conspiracy Document « Tome of the Ancient

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